...against my will!!!!!
What do they say about the best laid plans? I can't remember the quote, but I know I am a planner by nature and by profession. My dad might disagree, but truth is I fought his plans so stubbornly growing up because they weren't my own! There is beauty in a plan, even if you have to re-plan, you still have something to build from. Planning is one of mine and Wayne's most frequent disagreements, Mr. Go with the Flow, I'll figure it out when it happens, drives me nuts!!! Hadley on the other hand by all appearances will be my kindred spirit. The girl has always thrived in a routine, enjoys organization and as long as you prepare her for what is coming, she is game. Ellison on the other hand, I'm afraid may be playing for Mr. Go with the Flow's team and that is not cool. Throughout this pregnancy she has been nothing short of dramatic, causing me to wonder what will happen each day. From the weeks of 24-7 sickness, to the foods that one day agree with her to the next day are just wrong, to the insomnia, she has kept me on my toes. Nothing quite so dramatic as yesterday though.
The insomnia recently has been kicking my butt and I have been dragging. On Monday I just ached everywhere I felt like I couldn't move, joints rebelling, pressure everywhere, back hurting. I figured it was par for the course, everyone has told me you feel more with your second and I hadn't been sleeping. Monday was another restless night of non sleep, so as I sat at my desk Tuesday and the aches and now cramping intensified I attempted to brush it off. However, after a solid hour of cramping I thought I would go talk to our plant nurse and get some insight. As I was standing there talking with her, I was hit with two very intense stabs of pain. She then took my blood pressure, which was 145/114. She immediately called my doctor's office and they told me to come into the office. My blood pressure was still elevated, so they hooked me up to the monitor where they learned I was having contractions. Ellison didn't appear to be in distress, but they did an ultrasound where someone appears to be right on track. They are estimating she weighs about 4.5 pounds, average for this stage and everything looked good. I even got a shot of her face that has me pretty certain, she is going to look like her BIG sister, there is a very distinct flat nose, round face and hog jowl cheeks, perfect for kissing on. They then did my exam and surprise, surprise, I'm dilated to a 1 and already 60%. (not in the plan). Because of the contractions they wanted to do a fetal fibronectin test which determines if you are at risk for pre-term labor, this would have to be done at the hospital, which was already my next stop so I could get medicine to stop my contractions.
At the hospital, I got my shot to stop the contractions which worked quickly and had the desired results. Unfortunately my fetal fibronectin test came back positive. This means that there is a chance of pre-term labor, but not that it is certain. With this test being positive they are starting to see what they call the "glue" come apart which happens before labor. Because of the positive test and the possibility that someone doesn't understand how plans go, I received my first steroid shot to increase lung development and returned back today to get the second shot of steroids. Can I just say the shot was not part of the plan? HURT, little needle, little stick, but painful medicine, I felt the BURN!!!
Since we have had such a good response to the meds, I have been given the okay to return to work tomorrow. Which I am grateful for, because the earlier I go out of work, the less time I have with the princess when she gets here. Truth be told, I will probably take it easier at work than at home. At home, my mind is racing of all the things I need to do to prepare and I'm sure I would begin to take action on some of those items.
So now we wait, without a plan. I am finding comfort and control in my endless lists of things that need to be done immediately and struggling with the lack of a plan. But I have a feeling that is going to be par for the course with Ms. Ellison as she is playing for Mr. Go with the Flow's team.
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